unluckyships:

when a friend asks you for a piece of paper and 12 other kids ask you too

(via samsevans)

snitskys:

hearing your favourite song while you’re doing something and stopping so you can just

(via samsevans)

50shadesofvalentineschocolates:

homosaurus-rex:

homosaurus-rex:

It’s actually a good thing that the zombie apocalypse starts in Florida because then the zombies only have one way to go and that’s straight up into trigger happy redneck territory. I give it two weeks before monster trucks and mullets save us.

can we talk about how this is still getting notes

yeah but i live in florida you want me to die first that’s not cool doll that’s not cool we have one of the disneys

(via girlwithg0ldeyes)

pi3rced-sirens:

apparently you can’t like a band if you don’t know all the member’s full names, every word to every song they’ve ever written, how many times a day they use the bathroom, their blood type and own a sample of their hair.

(via samsevans)

soudas:

can you even sue the president like what if you tried to sue obama and you just got a letter back saying “no” and he came to your house and did the worm

(Source: 3033033, via justcallmenataliekathleen)

merricats:

oldmanhoho:

you know you’ve made a good pun when everyone’s immediate response upon hearing it is “shut the fuck up”

#the highest compliment any pun can receive

(via nowthatswhaticallshipping)

stelmarias:

next time your teacher asks if you can go to the bathroom piss yourself in front of them to prove that yes, you can

(via nowthatswhaticallshipping)